Well, that went disastrously wrong.
Picture the scene – she a tall, leggy brunette, and he a short skinny guy with a penchant for tall, leggy brunettes but little imagination, in a beach-front bar on a tropical island getaway.
I first noticed her when she ordered a sunset on the beach, which the barman prepared and delivered with the flair of one who knows their cocktails. I was impressed. The way she sipped her drink had my heart fluttering – is it right for a man’s heart to behave like that just at the sight of an attractive woman sipping a drink?
I knew right from that moment that I had to be with her. The thought of being with her brightened my sullen mood, lifting me up rapturously from the deep blue funk that I had found myself in through debts and casinos. I tried my best to strike up a conversation with this beautiful apparition, yet all I could muster was a slurred “Tha’ looksh goodnuff to schlurp, whasinnit?”
“Malibu, Grenadine and cola over ice. Wanna try a sip?” she said.
“Shoundsh good to me. Go on then.” I replied, swaying slightly. She passed me her glass and I took a sip.
And that’s the last I remember, but for some reason I have a nasty lump on the back of my head, my brain feels like it wants to escape because it’s banging on the inside of my skull like a lunatic and my wallet is missing. Along with my watch, bracelet and rings.
I never did catch her name.
