She wasn't in the least bit surprised.
She'd known she was going to end up here from the very day she used the super-glue to tidy up Maisie's plaits after the netball match. All that lovely long hair! Gone in a snip once Maisie's Mum got to it! Stuck-up little madam – all ponies and Mercs. Who's laughing now eh?
Thinking about Maisie, she felt re-assured for it seemed that episode had rendered irrelevant the trail of emotional destruction she'd left in her path over the past 20 years. She was here because of Maisie, and Maisie alone. Not because of all those pathetic men. Not because of all those broken promises. And certainly not because of all those fractured families.
In fact she'd been so certain this was where she would be coming, that she was well prepared for it. Suntan lotion, shades, flip-flops & bikini. They were all packed.
As she clomped down the hundreds of gaily painted steps her expectant mood helped her reflect on all the positives. That her death had been swift and pain-free which meant she didn't have to deal with the sight of all her miserable relatives weeping and blubbing like 4-yr-olds who've lost their balloons. Half of them would only have been there for some self-satisfying I-knew-you-were-no-good gloating anyway.
As she descended further, the heat began to envelop her along with the hubub of what was clearly the mother of all parties going on a few floors below.
But before she got the chance to join in the craic, she was man-handled aside by an ugly little goblin and led towards an imposing door marked 'HELLISH'
The goblin shifted uncomfortably before leaning forward to pull it open.
“Not a word.” he said, avoiding eye-contact in obvious embarrassment “I know what it says in the brochure, but we thought it would be fun to have a specially designated area for the really wicked ones.”
“Excellent” she thought to herself, “no crowds, no tourists”
But as he opened the door, the chill wind grasped her throat with the hands of a thousand spurned lovers, freezing her veins in an instant.
“Here we are. Careful as you go in, they've not gritted yet this morning”
“This can't be right” she protested. “Where's the beach, the pool, the men. Hang on - WHERES THE BLOODY BAR!”
“Oh we don't have anything like that in here” said the goblin with just a hint of smugness as her distress spread rapidly across her face. “We have icicles and snowmen and crisp white snow that crunches beneath your feet. Isn't it stunning?”
She looked down at her sundress and sandals and felt a shiver of goose-bumps arcing across her shoulders, down her back and into her stomach.
He smiled ruefully.
“I think you'll find that's what regret feels like” he said, before bolting the door behind him and heading back down to the party.
498 WORDS
